Accepting His Home Read online

  Amelia’s smile is warm. “I think that everyone feels lost at some time in their life and I had been lost for a while. I didn’t even realize how lost I was until I found myself in the middle of this family. I won’t thank you again because you’ve all just done what family does; at least what a strong one built on love does.” Zeke kisses my temple and I give him a squeeze. “You accepted me and my baggage without question, without reservation and without judgement. There are moments in the last month that I wouldn’t trade for anything, but I’m also very glad I don’t have to go grocery shopping with Ryder again.” We all laugh, and I think Ryder blushes as he shrugs. Huh.

  Amelia stage whispers, “We’re still going Tuesday after work, though, right, Ryder?” Ryder grins and pumps his fist; Amelia laughs and wipes her brow like she was worried. “I’m grateful we can put the last month behind us and move forward with more family who make us stronger, smarter and better equipped to continue to take care of our family, together.”

  Amelia grins up at Beckett who nods at her. She takes a deep breath, “I can’t wait to see how our family continues to grow. Not only did we acquire 4 very large men as part of our family, but we’ll also be adding a very small person as part of our family in about eight months, give or take.”

  Amelia touches her belly Beckett covers her hand with his and the smile that covers his face is fucking huge. It takes a beat for what she’s said to sink in, but when it does a feeling of pure joy descends upon our family. I gasp and can’t contain my squeal. Andrea rushes up the steps and wraps Amelia up in a hug. Troy, the big softie, rushes Beckett and hugs him. The bro love in this family is fucking adorable.

  Zeke grunts, “A baby.” When I look up at him his eyes are sparkling and then a slow smile spreads across his face. This time, there’s awe in his voice, “A baby.”

  There’s a very intense conversation going on amongst the Higgins Security guys, the three other guys fixing Blake with hard looks. Blake says something that makes their eyes go wide. Blake shrugs, but it’s stiff. He winks when he glances at me, but I can see the worry and the hint of regret in his eyes. I take it they weren’t all aware of Amelia’s pregnancy when the plan for tonight was put together.

  I shake off the thoughts of how everything could have gone wrong where the results could have been even more devastating than just losing Amelia, but the baby as well. This is a time to celebrate, not wallow in the what ifs of the world. Today, good won out and I’m grateful. A huge grin spreads across my face as Walsh high fives Beckett and Zeke pulls me up the porch steps.

  Zeke wraps his arms around Amelia and Andrea, who is still clinging to Amelia like a spider monkey. I kiss Amelia’s cheek and whisper my congratulations. Beckett opens their house and just like that it’s another night of fun and closeness with our family. Just what we all needed.

  The biggest difference this time is that Zeke doesn’t stray very far from me, except when he runs to grab some more beer from his house. He also touches me whenever he can. When the blanket fort is made, the pizza is all eaten and we’ve gorged ourselves on smores from the fire pit, we settle on a big pallet made from pillows and blankets in the middle of the living room.

  Zeke wraps me up in his arms and whispers in my ear, “I love you, little fairy.”

  I kiss him softly before I fall asleep in his arms, surrounded by the love of the only man I’ve ever wanted and the love of our family. Everyone is safe and our family is going to grow in number and strength.

  CHAPTER 14

  ZEKE

  It’s been almost six weeks since the night that I made Olivia mine and it’s been the best fucking six weeks of my life. I’m ecstatic that Amelia is safe, her fuck of an ex is locked up tight in a psychiatric facility and that the baby is healthy and happy. That hasn’t been the best part of the last six weeks for me, not by a long shot.

  Olivia and I haven’t slept apart since that night and it’s been the best sleep I’ve had in my entire life. I come home to her or with her every day and it finally feels like coming home. It feels comfortable and exciting at the same time. Often our schedules are synched and even if they aren’t, we still carpool to work. If we’re at the shop late then we plan for that and sleep at her place. It doesn’t feel the same though and I think that Liv feels the same way I do. I just don’t want to rush her, but I’m antsy to get her home permanently.

  Not only do I fall asleep with my little wood nymph wrapped up tight in my arms, but I get to do that after burying my cock inside her tight, wet pussy. Fucking heaven. It gets better and better every time. I fall asleep after coming deep inside her and, I’ve found, it’s the best fucking way to start the day too.

  The guys were abnormally quiet about us being together for about a week, but then it was like they couldn’t hold it in anymore. We had a weeklong honeymoon period of us coming in with satisfied smiles and stolen glances. It was way longer than I thought that we were going to get. Especially considering we’re talking about Walsh and Troy, who can’t keep their mouths shut about anything.

  When that week was up, we walked in and Olivia was giggling at something fucking filthy I whispered in her ear that I promised I would do to her when we got home. Her eyes were sparkling, her cheeks were flushed, and she was looking up at me like I was the center of her whole world. It was humbling as fuck and filled me a warm fuzzy feeling that I was still struggling to get used to at times.

  Troy gave me a mischievous grin and I knew that the razzing had officially begun. “Good morning, lovebirds!”

  Olivia giggled next to me and shook her head. Her hips had a little bit of an extra sway in them as she walked away from me and toward her station. “Good morning, Troy. Don’t be jealous, green isn’t a good color on you,” she sassed.

  Walsh chuckled, “He does look a little green around the gills.”

  Troy flipped him off and then wagged his eyebrows at me, “Just remember that we can hear you guys if you decide to fuck in the backroom.”

  Olivia blushed, but there was a mischievous look in her eye when she eyed me up and down. My dick took immediate notice, not that I’d ever fuck Olivia in the back room. She bit her lip, okay, I wouldn’t fuck her in the back room when anyone else was here. The sounds she makes when she comes are only for me and they’re sexy as fuck.

  Troy shivered and made a face, “Hearing Beckett come has already scared me for life.”

  Beckett blushed slightly, but shrugged, “You’ll live.” He smiled to himself like he was remembering whatever Amelia was doing to him in the backroom weeks ago and muttered, “I’m calling someone about soundproofing that room today.”

  I perked up and shot Olivia a wink, “Oh yeah? That sounds like a solid business idea.” Beckett looked up at me with a wicked grin on his face. “I’d put in on that much needed improvement.”

  The guys shot me surprised looks and Olivia laughed. They weren’t entirely used to me making jokes yet.

  Dex came out of the back room and saw the look Olivia was giving me and scrubbed a hand down his face, “Jesus, don’t fuck in the backroom please. I don’t want to hear Zeke grunt.”

  We all cracked up and just like that, Olivia and I being together was fucking normal. Like I always knew it would be. What I still wasn’t sure about was how everyone would react to my past. I hadn’t gotten up the courage to tell everyone, even though Liv assured me that it wouldn’t make anyone look at me any differently. I just wanted to soak up being with my little fairy, finally, for just a little while longer.

  I finally bit the bullet two weeks after the beer night that changed my life. We were all hanging out at the shop, getting ready to head over to the bar to meet up with the guys from HS. It was Halloween weekend and Amelia had spent the day with Troy and Walsh at the tattoo convention. She kept posting updates on the shop’s social media, taking the idea of a social media takeover to new heights.

  It was just us, the core of Banks Ink., joking around in the reception area. I was putting up some new flash wit
h a little more color. Dex’s client had recently left. Troy, Walsh and Amelia had just come in from the convention.

  Amelia was ribbing them about how they’re big babies with all the complaining they were doing all day. They literally pouted, it made me laugh and I realized in that moment how light I felt for the first time in so long. Andrea was giggling at them while working on the shop’s computer.

  Beckett wrapped Amelia up in his arms and kissed her temple, “No douche bags fucked with you today, Baby?”

  Amelia rolled her eyes and ran her nails up Beckett’s arm. “No, no douche bags, it seemed everyone there knew I was your girl and they were very respectful.” She bit her lip, a wicked grin curled along her lips and it looked like Beckett tightened his grip on her. She pointed between Troy and Walsh, “These two are another story.”

  Troy clutched his chest and flopped down on one of the couches, “You wound me, Doll.”

  Amelia’s smile was warm as she sassed him, “You can handle it, Superman. You always do.”

  Troy grinned and winked at her. She shook her head and grinned. “It was actually a lot of fun; I don’t know why these two are complaining so much about it. There were some real characters there, but so much fucking talent in one room and a whole bunch of people who appreciate it.” She shrugged, “How could that be bad?”

  Walsh and Troy grumbled, but she pursed her lips at them, “Don’t go under appreciating spending all day with me.”

  Walsh threw is head back and laughed, “That was the best part, by far.”

  Amelia chucked and leaned back against Beckett’s chest. She craned her neck and kissed the underside of Beckett’s jaw and Beckett’s hand drifted down and held Amelia’s belly possessively. In that moment, I had a flash of what it would be like if Olivia was pregnant; when I glanced at Liv the look on her face told me that she was having the same kind of thoughts. My little fairy grinned and winked at me.

  I could see it so clearly, but what I couldn’t shake is that I wasn’t being entirely honest about who I was with the people I love the most. I put down the flash I had taken down and squared my shoulders. I must have had a look on my face because Olivia came right over to me and put her hand in mine and gave me a squeeze.

  When I met Amelia’s gaze, she cocked her head to the side slightly and a look of understanding came over her face. I guess when you have to steel yourself to bare your secrets, you recognize that look in another person. She gave me a warm smile and that was the encouragement I needed to push words past my lips.

  I cleared my throat, “Guys.” Everyone’s eyes came to mine and I would have backed down, but all I saw was the love that these people had for me. I scrubbed a hand down my face, “I need you all to know about what happened that drove me to the streets.”

  Beckett’s eyes widened slightly, but I didn’t see pity or even concern, I saw pride and that was what gave me the final push to get over my fear and just lay it all out there. I explained about Kasey, graduation night and then the shunning that happened after. I was even able to call it an accident, even though it was hard to push that word past the residual shame and guilt I felt.

  When I was done the room was silent for a moment and it felt like forever. Amelia broke out of Beckett’s arms and crossed the room and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight. When she stepped back and looked up into my eyes, I could see the tears there, but it didn’t feel like pity. I could also see anger there and that made my stomach flip over from worry. She looked at Olivia and that’s when I understood that the anger was on my behalf and not directed at me. I let go of a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding.

  Amelia looked up at me with such conviction, “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I know my eyes widened in shock, expecting her to be sorry for Kasey and her family. No, Amelia was concerned about me. It filled me with warmth I hadn’t ever let myself fully feel before. She whispered, “I knew we were the same; running from our past while letting it keep us hostage.”

  I shook my head, “No, Amelia. You’re a fucking warrior.”

  Amelia’s gave me a warm smile, “So are you, a warrior and a survivor. Not only did you endure the accident yourself and grieve someone you cared about, but then you lost your support group. At least I had support. You ran to protect yourself, just like I did. Then you survived on the streets for a whole fucking year; it seriously blows my mind. I couldn’t have done that at 18 or even at 21 when I ran home from Pennsylvania.” She looked at me and I could see the awe in her eyes; it was humbling as fuck. “I’m so proud of you, for telling us and for surviving. I’m proud to be part of your family.”

  I looked around and saw the same conviction on everyone’s face. Olivia squeezed my hand and wrapped her body around my arm, bolstering me.

  Olivia whispered, “See? They love you, no matter what.”

  Walsh piped up, “It was an accident, man.” I shrugged, but he gave me a hard look that said he wasn’t to be argued with.

  Troy’s voice was serious and grave, “You shouldn’t have been blamed for it.”

  Dex’s voice held wonder, “You walked for 45 minutes, while injured to try and save her. That takes fucking strength and courage.” He muttered, “Jesus. I can’t imagine having to do that.”

  Beckett walked across the room and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “I’m sorry that’s what drove you to the streets, but I’m not sorry that you found your way here. You are family, Zeke. We take care of our own.”

  I nodded at him and felt relief wash over me. My voice was low and thick with emotion, “That’s what families do.”

  Amelia’s voice had an edge to it. “Damn straight. Know that if anyone ever shows up trying to heap blame on you, I will rip them apart, personally.” She glances at Olivia who gives her a nod, “Well, if there’s anything left of them once Liv gets done with them.”

  Andrea pointed at Amelia, “What she said.” Walsh and Troy laughed; that’s usually their line.

  I couldn’t help it, I chuckled. Olivia has a fierce sense of loyalty and I know that she would go to bat for me if she needed to but having that echoed by others was overwhelming. I looked around and knew that they all would stand behind me.

  I cleared my throat, “Thanks guys.” Amelia gave he a hard look and I knew that she was thinking that the thanks weren’t necessary, but they were. They so were. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I felt guilty and so ashamed. I didn’t think I deserved this.” I waved my hand around encompassing them all. “I’m still not sure that 4 years is enough penance for a life taken.”

  Beckett barked out, “No.” Amelia wrapped her arm around his waist, and he took a deep breath. His voice was like steel. “You didn’t take that life, Zeke. It was an accident and you did everything you could to save her. You deserve to be happy and to live your life. That doesn’t mean you forget, but you do get to move forward. There was never any penance to pay.”

  I felt my shoulders slump and then the next thing I knew everyone had me wrapped up in a group hug that probably looked ridiculous from the outside. Fuck it. I needed it. I started to laugh because I couldn’t keep the feelings of relief inside of me.

  When they released me, we filed out of the shop, headed toward the bar and had a normal night. Normal, except for the fact that for the first time, they knew all about my past. They didn’t look at me like a monster. They didn’t push me away or place blame at my feet. I could see in the way they treated me that night, hell even before, that they accepted me for me, no judgement. Just love. Just like Amelia tried to tell me weeks before.

  The first thought I have when I wake up most days is how thankful I am for my family, most of all for Olivia. Today having that thought is even more important since today is Thanksgiving. The first one I’m spending with my family as a whole person so it’s hitting me even harder than it would normally.

  I didn’t realize how freeing it would be for my secrets to be out there. Fuck, it feels fucking great. I still have moments of guilt tha
t I have so much in my life to be thankful for, but those are fleeting and becoming fewer.

  I pull Liv against me, tightening my hold on her and looking at the clock. The shop is closed today except for a very special appointment that Beckett made. Cole Howard, lead singer of Suburban Outcasts, contacted him recently about a tattoo and to see if Beckett could get him in his chair while the band’s in Denver for a concert this weekend.

  Amelia, that brilliant woman, told Beckett that he should open the shop up special for Cole’s appointment Thanksgiving morning. She only had one condition: that the band comes to our family’s Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Walsh so happy as when she came up with this plan. He wrapped Amelia up in a hug and I wasn’t sure he would ever let her go. Watching Beckett pry Walsh’s hands off Amelia was hilarious.

  When everyone asked what to bring, all Amelia asked for was alcohol and deserts. No fucking problem. I picked up a few pies and cookies from a little bakery a few blocks from the shop yesterday. Walsh is spending most of the day with Amelia in the kitchen to help her since Beckett will be at the shop tattooing a rock star. Wild.

  I brush Olivia’s lilac strands away from her face and smile. She’s so fucking gorgeous. When I’m this close to her I can see the light freckles across the bridge of her nose. I skim my hand down her body and over her hip. Her lips curl into a gentle smile and she makes a contented noise in the back of her throat.

  I roll her on her back and lean over her, my lips skimming across her shoulder and up her neck. I kiss along her jaw and plant a gentle kiss on her lips. My lips skim down her chest and I tease her nipples. My fingers skim down her body and between the folds of her pussy. I find she’s already wet for me, like always; the knowledge pulls a groan from me.

  Her eyes open slowly and light up and she sighs, like she’s just as happy to wake up with me as I am with her. Fuck, do I deserve this kind of happiness? How can I have this much joy when I couldn’t prevent Kasey’s death? Shouldn’t I feel more guilt and shame, still?