Accepting His Home Read online

  The family I grew up in was normal and while I had a good childhood, we weren’t particularly close. It wasn’t until graduation night, when my world crumbled, that I even realized we weren’t close. They weren’t concerned about me, only the way I fucked up. They never fought for me and they pitied me. I hated it and that’s why I ran from them as soon as I could.

  When I glanced around our crew, I watched the realization that one of our own was in danger cover everyone’s face. We would fight for our family. We would protect it.

  Then I looked at Olivia and realized there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to protect her. What if protecting her means letting her keep taking her space and keeping her safe from me? Fuck.

  Blake filled us in on everything he found out about Amelia’s ex and it didn’t make the situation any better. He’s a dangerous guy and we can’t underestimate him. Thank God Beckett knew Blake and thought to call him and his team in on this. I could see Amelia’s guilt when she realized that her ex continued to hurt other women after she left school. A picture of her ex is passed around and while I didn’t want to look at it, I did it because that’s the only way to protect our family.

  It’s only mildly comforting when Blake told us that he doesn’t have reason to believe that the rest of us are in immediate danger, but need to be vigilant. I made a mental note to ask Blake about the security at my house anyway.

  The strength that Amelia showed when she insisted that she isn’t going to give her ex the power to control her life took my breath away. When Blake and Beckett tried to handle her, she stood her ground. It was fucking impressive and I know that’s the same kind of determination we all need to have and not just about this. She made sure Nacho Bar night at Beckett’s house was a go which gives us the perfect opportunity to meet the rest of Blake’s team.

  The meeting was winding down and I could see the exhaustion on Amelia’s face. I looked over at Olivia and the empathy infused with strength on her face made my heart ache. For a moment I let myself imagine that it was Olivia in the same situation and my fists clenched. I pushed the idea away because it hurt too badly. I eyed Beckett; would I step up in the same way that he had? I don’t know and that is my own shit I need to figure out.

  Blake looked at Amelia, “I don’t have any questions for you right now, if I do then I’ll reach out. Do you have any questions for me?”

  Amelia shook her head, “No, if I do, I’ll ask. I just want to say,” she paused and looked around the room gratefully. I could see the gratitude in her eyes, but it was the apology I saw there that made my stomach clench. “Thank you and I’m sor…”

  I couldn’t help it, I interrupted her. Everyone’s eyes went wide. Yeah, I’m a man of few words, but she had nothing to be sorry for. Nothing that happened was within her control. “No, Amelia, you don’t need to nor do we want to hear you apologize for this psychopath’s actions. You don’t need to thank us for anything. We protect our own. That’s what families do.”

  When Amelia met my eyes, I could see the tears welling up. I hoped she saw someone she could count on when she looked at me. I saw the hope in her eyes, and it wasn’t just about the situation with her ex. I took a deep breath and let a little bit of hope flourish in myself for the first time in a long time.

  Troy piped up, “Yeah, what he said.”

  Everyone chucked. I have to give it to Troy, he’s awesome at diffusing tense situations. Once we wrapped it up, I squeezed Amelia’s shoulder and made sure to stay close to Olivia. With all that shit, I needed to be close to her and I wasn’t going to deny myself. I wasn’t sure if I could give her everything she deserved and I certainly wasn’t sure that I could forgive my past. Yet. What I could do is keep her safe.

  CHAPTER 7

  ZEKE

  The family meeting was yesterday and now it’s Nacho Bar night. This feels like the weekend that will never end. It’s been full of ups and downs and I’m all turned around. I spent most of the day in the shop with clients.

  Olivia was off today; she usually takes Sunday off unless that’s the only way she can get a client in. I think she usually spends the day painting, not that I’ve ever seen any of her paintings. I don’t think anyone has seen them.

  I guess we’re similar in that way, we’re both hiding parts of ourselves. Not just from each other either, but from everyone. I don’t want her to hide from me. I wish I could show her who I really am, if only I was a different person. I can’t risk it though.

  Beckett and Amelia spent most of the day at the shop because Beckett started putting a full back piece on her. I’ve seen the sketch Beckett mocked up and most of the individual stencils he’s using to create a scene full of flowers. It’s going to be amazing when it’s all said and done.

  Amelia blew me away being able to sit for 7 hours and Beckett got a lot of work done on it. Not that we got to see a whole lot since Beckett used the back room instead of his regular station. They left the shop around 5 to get things cooking. Troy and Walsh headed out not long after them when I was almost done with my last client of the day.

  When I left about an hour ago, Dex still had one more client coming in. By the time I get to Beckett’s house, I’m the last to arrive except for Dex. There was a part of me that wanted to get out of this, but I know that I need to meet all of Higgins Security. More importantly, I want to check in with Amelia and see how she’s doing.

  I walk into Beckett’s house and I can feel the change in it; it feels lived in and cozy. Not that it wasn’t warm before, but now that Beckett and Amelia are in love within it, it feels like a home. It brings me to a stark realization that the only time my house has felt like home is when Olivia has been in it with me.

  Beckett is out on the back porch and it looks like he’s grilling steak. I can smell something cooking in the oven and it smells amazing. Amelia and Andrea are mixing up something pink and probably fruity in a blender; the tequila on the kitchen counter tells me they’re probably margaritas.

  Amelia has bags of tortilla chips and bowls filled with salsa and other nacho fixings on the kitchen island. There are serving platters in the shape of llamas on one end too. Amelia is giggling, which tells me this isn’t the first pitcher of margaritas that’s been made. Good, she deserves to have a good time.

  Walsh and Troy are pulling beers out of a cooler, four in their hands. I glance into the living room I see Blake and Ryder looking for a game on the television. Grayson, who I’ve seen in the shop getting work done from Troy, and a guy I’ve never seen before are standing around the dining room table with Olivia.

  Olivia’s looking down at the table, her hands running over it reverently. When I get closer, I realize that it’s different than the last time we were all over to Beckett’s house. It was a beautiful live edge table, but now it looks like an amazing watercolor river runs through the center. Amelia bops into the dining room area and hands Olivia a margarita.

  Olivia takes it and says brightly, “Thanks Amelia! I love this table, it’s not the same one Beckett had before.”

  Amelia lights up, “Well, it is actually. Mark, the same guy who did the counter in the shop and made this table was kind enough to let us go to his woodworking shop last weekend and turn the tabletop into this. It was so much fun, I let the menfolk play with the power tools, but Beckett and I mixed the colors and poured the resin.”

  Troy and Walsh come through the dining room, ribbing each other about which peppers they’re going to eat whole as part of some contest. They’ve been talking about it since Dex’s BBQ; I hope they don’t hurl. They hand off a beer to Grayson and the other guy, who must be part of Higgins Security. He’s standing a little too close to Olivia for my liking and I don’t know what to do about it; I’m frozen in place.

  Amelia looks up and sees me and her face breaks out into a wide smile. “Hi, Zeke!” She walks over and loops her arm through mine.

  I can’t help but chuckle, “Those margaritas treating you good, Amelia?”

  Amelia giggles and s
asses me. “You want one? They’re strawberry,” she singsongs. I feel the tip of my lip twitch and Olivia turns around slowly and gives me a guarded smile. Amelia mutters something I don’t quite catch before she pulls me into the dining room. “Zeke, this is Grayson and,” she motions toward the man who is still eyeing Olivia, “this is Duncan.”

  I shake Grayson’s hand first, “Hey man, good to see you again.” He gives me a nod and I offer my hand to Duncan and give him a hard look. His eyes widen slightly; he looks between Olivia and I before taking my outstretched hand. I try and keep the growl out of my voice, but by the way Olivia’s eyes widen slightly I don’t do a great job. “Nice to meet you, Duncan.”

  Duncan releases my hand and rubs the back of his neck, “Yeah, you too, Zeke.”

  Duncan’s a good-looking guy, he’s only an inch or two taller than my 6’3 frame. Where I’m more lean muscle, he’s buffer. He keeps his auburn hair cut close to his head. His eyes are green, but a different shade than Beckett’s emerald green, closer to a sea foam color. He has a strong jaw like me but is clean shaven. He gives off a good-guy vibe, but I know that with the experience of all of HS, being former rangers and SEALS, that this isn’t a guy I want to get physical with. Doesn’t mean my fists don’t clench thinking about the way he looked at Olivia. Olivia could do a lot worse; me for example.

  I turn toward Olivia and give her a small smile, “Hey, Liv, have a good day off?”

  She lets out a relieved breath, but I can still feel the distance between us, “Oh yeah, just did laundry and shit around my apartment.” I give her a nod and then she turns a bright smile toward Amelia, “I love the llama plates you got.”

  Amelia laughs, “You totally want to take one home with you, don’t you?”

  Olivia blushes and grins, “Maaaaybe.”

  I chuckle because I knew the moment, I saw them that Olivia would want one; she has a thing for llamas. Olivia gives me a surprised smile, this time it’s genuine and it makes my heart feel full. Fuck.

  Amelia smiles and pulls me toward the kitchen, “Come on Zeke, let’s get you a drink.”

  I let her pull me along since it’ll give me the chance to check in on her and get the fuck away from Duncan and Olivia. I won’t be able to deal with watching them flirt. I know I have no right, but it bothers me. I can’t help it. It fucking hurts.

  Amelia takes me to the far side of the kitchen, not far from the door to the back porch and pours me a shot of tequila. I’m not much of a shot guy anymore, or hard liquor for that matter, but I don’t hesitate to shoot this one back. Amelia grins at me before she turns and pulls the chicken out of the oven. Beckett raps on the door to the back porch and gives a little wave my way. Amelia winks at him and blows him a kiss.

  I shake my head and grin, they’re so fucking adorable together. It’s infectious. It takes all my willpower not to turn back toward the dining room and sneak a peek at Olivia. I want what Amelia and Beckett have, I’m just too fucking chicken to make it happen.

  I clear my throat and eye the llama plates, “Where’d you find these? You’ll have to count them later. Olivia loves llamas.”

  Amelia grabs me a beer out of the cooler and opens it for me; the way she takes care of us is mind blowing sometimes. She shrugs, “I plan on giving her a set, we won’t need this many llama things, but I couldn’t resist since they’re perfect for Nacho night.”

  I feel my lips curl into a smile, and I say quietly, “She’ll love that.” Her eyes go soft and before she can say anything in response, I cut her off. “How are you doing, Amelia?”

  Amelia sighs, “I’m okay. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not a little freaked out but knowing that so many people have my back makes me feel stronger.” She gives me a pointed look, but I ignore it.

  “I’m sorry your ex treated you the way he did and that he’s trying to force his way back in your life.” I shake my head, “You don’t deserve that.” She smiles at me, but it’s a little sad and for the first time in a long time I feel like I can make something better. “I don’t know what he used to say to you,” she stiffens slightly, but I power on, “but whatever it was had to be complete bullshit. It took a lot of courage to sit with us yesterday and share what happened to you.” I reach out and squeeze her hand, “You’re a gorgeous woman, Amelia.” I feel her squeeze my hand back and the smile on her face lights up the entire room. “I’m glad you’re in our lives and we can tell you how special you are.”

  Her eyes get a little misty and I hope that she doesn’t cry because then Beckett will probably kick my ass. She whispers, “Thank you, Zeke.” She cocks her head to the side and assess me, it makes me want to squirm. “I hope that someday really soon you realize just how brave, special and loved you are too.”

  A lump forms in my throat and I try to swallow around it. I take a drink of my beer in the hopes of washing it down. It doesn’t help. I give a little shrug and fight the urge to run away, it’s like she can see too much.

  She takes a drink from her margarita and gives me a hopeful smile, “Trust can be hard won or it can be be freely given. Either way, both require you to just take a leap and hope for the best.” She looks over her shoulder and Beckett’s eyes are already on her; she gives him a grin.

  When Amelia looks back at me, I watch Beckett’s eyes travel down her body. His eyes heat as they land on her ass and I almost choke on my swig of beer. Amelia leans toward me conspiratorially, “He’s checking out my ass, isn’t he?”

  I can’t help it; I bark out a laugh. Fuck, it feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve laughed. “He is.”

  She shakes her head, but her eyes are sparkling when she mutters, “Tattooed caveman.”

  I chuckle, “You’re not wrong.”

  Amelia’s eyes light up, “I almost forgot! I have a beanie for you.” Damn, that makes me feel lighter; that she cares about me enough to make something to help keep my warm. She eyes my hair, “Not sure how it’ll work with the man bun, but still, all my guys should have warm ears.”

  I feel myself smile, a real genuine smile. Amelia’s eyes go wide. She gives my hand another squeeze, which I had forgotten was still covering hers. “Zeke, when you smile you look…” She trails off and blushes like she didn’t mean to say anything out loud about it, but I really want to know what she was going to say. She gives a self-deprecating laugh and in true Amelia fashion she powers through, “Weightless. When you smile you look weightless. It’s really nice to see and I’d love to see it more often.”

  I take a drink of my beer and shift, a little uncomfortable with how good it feels for her to say that. I wish I felt weightless. Even when I do, the burden of my past doesn’t leave me for long.

  I give a little shrug and whisper, “Thanks Amelia.”

  I pull my hand back from hers slowly and she doesn’t protest, just gives me a little nod. She gets a mischievous smile on her face and it makes me worry, just a little. She wags her eyebrows at me, “Lets go get your hat!”

  She heads out of the kitchen and into the dining room, I hesitate to follow her for a moment, but know that I have no choice. When I turn and head into the dining room, Olivia and Andrea are talking to Duncan. I don’t know what I would have done if it was just my girl and Duncan talking. Wait. My girl? Fuck.

  I shake it off and give a nod to the group as Amelia heads into the living room and I follow behind. Walsh and Blake are talking about cannabis and I overhear Blake explain that none of his team can partake but have no issues with it. That’s a load off my mind, I was wondering how that would play out.

  Amelia flits over to her yarn basket as Walsh asks Blake, “Have you seen the studies on cannabis for treating vets with PTSD? It’s can really help people.”

  I sit on the loveseat and am about to interject that I saw an article about that study recently when Amelia comes over and pulls a hat over my head. It’s cozy as fuck, but out of the corner of my eye I notice that it’s…bright pink.

  Amelia snickers, “You need a
little more color in your life Zeke.”

  Walsh, Troy, Blake, Ryder and Grayson all stop and look at me with wide amused eyes. I look up at Amelia and her eyes are sparkling as she takes a drink of her margarita. Walsh is barely holding in his laugh and Troy is biting his fist watching me like I’m the best reality TV show he’s ever seen. Andrea, Olivia and Duncan move into the living room from the dining room and I seriously don’t know what to do with myself.

  Amelia gives me an innocent look, “What? You don’t like the color?” I feel my eyebrows furrow together, I’m not sure if she’s being serious right now. She sasses me, “You aren’t one of those guys who thinks that pink is only for girls, right? Too caught up in traditional gender roles?”

  I hear a snicker coming from the doorway and I’m not sure if it’s coming from Andrea or Olivia, when I turn Olivia’s eyes are wide and a little worried. Well, that’s fucked up. Does she really think I’m going to lay into Amelia?

  I shake my head and feel my lips curl into a smirk, “I’m pretty sure I can pull off pink. I’m secure enough in my masculinity.”

  Amelia throws her head back and laughs. She winks at me and pulls the hat off my head, “Such a good sport Zeke.” She pulls a deep burgundy hat over my head and I try to stifle my sigh of relief. Amelia rolls her eyes, “Like I’d make you wear pink, but a little color never hurt anyone.”

  She grabs a stack of hats and passes dark grey ones out for the members of Higgins Security and a purple one for Andrea. The pink one that was on my head goes to Olivia and I have to push down the hope that, in the few moments it was on my head, it smells like me already. Huh. Maybe Beckett isn’t the only caveman around here.

  There’s a dark navy one left and she’s about to put it back in her basket when Dex bursts through the door, all grins. The group greets him warmly and Amelia slides over to him. She has to get on her tip toes to pull the hat over his head. With the shortest hair of all of us, he probably needs it the most.